Dreamer

I don’t know whether Randy Pausch had an innate ability to effortlessly dream things into existence, or if he simply had enough micro-experiences that gave him permission to keep looking higher and dreaming bigger—despite the challenges that stood in his way. But one of his quotes from The Last Lecture is incredibly telling. He said:

"But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason, right? The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."

If Pausch hadn’t believed so strongly in the power of dreams, he might have said something like, “Brick walls are there to stop you dead in your tracks. To force you to change direction. To show you that your dream isn’t achievable.”
I’m so glad he didn’t say that.

He was clearly courageous in the face of fear. I’m sure he encountered more than a few brick walls along the way. But what stands out is that he didn’t let them stop him. Instead, I believe he mastered the skill of failing forward—learning, growing, and pressing on even when quitting would have been easier.

As for dreaming? It’s absolutely essential.

I’ve always been a dreamer. But I didn’t always believe I was allowed to pursue those dreams. I was about eight or nine years into my marriage, with a couple of kids, when I began breaking away from what I thought was expected of me—to simply be a happy housewife and stay-at-home mom.

While I love my husband and kids deeply, I felt like I was shriveling up inside. I knew I had more to learn, more to give, and more to be. I’m so thankful that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself. He placed people and opportunities in my life that sparked a deep desire to become a personal trainer.

Even after earning my certification, though, I hit a massive brick wall: self-doubt. I tried the dream on for size more than once—then quickly talked myself out of it each time. That is, until Heavenly Father literally handed me my first personal training job. A fellow mom from my son’s flag football team happened to be the hiring manager at the local rec center. She was looking to fill a spot and didn’t even require an interview. All I had to do was lead her and a few staff members through a workout—and the job was mine.

It took no time at all for me to fall in love with the work. That moment became a defining turning point in how I view dreams—and why I’ll never again let fear hold me back.

If I’m not dreaming, I’m not opening doors to progression. It’s really as simple as that. Dreaming is the first step to achieving anything meaningful—and to feeling a deep sense of fulfillment.

Revisiting my childhood dreams makes me laugh. Probably the most prominent one was to "be a famous singer." I used to say I wanted to be the next Michael McLean (which definitely dates me!). My voice was probably on par with his—meaning I could carry a tune, but should’ve left the spotlight to those more naturally gifted. Still, I loved his cheesy music, and I loved to sing.

That dream made sense coming from the fearless, attention-loving kid and early teen I once was. But life handed me enough humbling experiences to knock the spotlight-seeking right out of me. These days, I get uncomfortable if more than three sets of eyeballs are on me at once—depending on the situation.

And as for singing? I’m a living example of what happens when we bury our talents—they fade. My singing voice has become nearly non-existent. For all those reasons, that childhood dream is one I’ve happily laid to rest.

But the act of dreaming? That’s something I’ll never stop doing.